Tuesday, September 12, 2006

This Much Is True For Me

The older I get the more honest I get.

You reach a point when you realize that you are what you are and that all your vain attempts to hide who you really are have been just that.

To borrow a line from James Taylor: “You can play the game and you can act out the part, though you know it wasn’t written for you.”

So a couple years ago I decided that this is who I am and I need get comfortable with that. I owe it to myself and to my wife.

I am a weak person. Some of who I am is environmental. Some of who I am is learned. Some of who I am was handed down from my parents, grandparents and great grand parents – both the baggage and gifts. My family’s struggle with the disease of alcoholism shaped me in ways that I never realized until I was in my forties.

I am an empowered person. Because of the grace of God I am imbued with the Spirit of God and when I call upon its power I can change my behavior and my life. I can sin less – but I am not sinless. I have been shaped by strong male friends in my life who have mentored me and coached me. I am being shaped by the example of grace that my wife models before me on a daily basis.

I am strongest when I confess my weakness and give the glory for who I am to God alone and not myself.

While in Vermont I spent much of last week with a cousin by marriage. Gerard is perhaps one of the most genuine people I have ever known. Certainly the least pretentious person I have met thus far. His willingness to be real reminded me of the need for humility in everything I do.

This much is true for me.

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